April 28, 2010

Waka waka

I don't know who or how or why this is not EXALIFTIN, but Shakira's song has been selected as the official song for the World Cup this summer.

waka waka, personally I like exaliftin better.

April 27, 2010

April 19, 2010

Well boys

Let's do this mofos.

It's not farewell, as I may have a new face on here, and this will continue to be my back post for things too raunchy to post over there, but away we go!

Meet you over on the other side.


Aiden Mcgeady gets DIRTY

April 18, 2010

Gotw: Maicon

You really don't need that extra touch when you're just going to blast it into the corner anyways.

Title Chances Gone for Arsenal?

Let's let some math do the talking.


So this morning, along with every other article out there came the headline "Arsenal's Title Chances Gone" or "Door slammed shut, title dreams killed". Well, I wanted to find out just how 'killed' they were. Let's do some math.

These are the calculated and plotted probabilities of teams winning the Premier League. As you can probably guess, the top brownish color is Chelsea at 66.1%, with Manchester United trailing in red at 33.9%. After today's inspirational defeat to Wigan, Arsenal's chances are 0.1%.

Yeah, but I didn't need statistics to tell you it's a two horse race now.

BTeeDubs, the graph came from SportsClubStats.com. I absolutely love the website because it uses so many odd statistical methods for so many leagues, well, it's just too comprehensive. I do encourage you to check it out, as it's always fun to use some rational methodology to your drunken wagers against friends.

April 17, 2010

Never too old

Honestly, some players age better than wine. Enjoy that taste Gary.

The race is wide open. Three weeks.

April 14, 2010


Not nearly as exciting as the close of the European transfer windows, but tomorrow is the close of the MLS transfer window. Hold onto your seats, especially if your name is Robert Pires.

Two bucks says nothing comes of it... But here's to hoping there might be something special.


And here we go! Red Bull pull off a deadline move for... this guy?

Heart of a steam engine, legs of a baby

Behind the silent face is the heart of a lion. I wonder if he gets it from Bob... Anyways, great bit on the rapidly maturing, but still for christsakes only 22 years old, Michael Bradley.

"I know him. He runs the whole game" - Edgar Davids

April 12, 2010

Top 10 Players for MLS to DP, I mean, sign as DP's


I always thought Jen Chang was a weird guy. No doubt, he's been in the field for a long time, I remember always seeing his articles up on Soccernet. However, now I am convinced this veteran knows what he's talking about. I mean, he put Fernando Morientes on his list for top MLS Designated Player players.

I really like that. Because I really like Fernando Morientes. It's about time my lust for long-time childhood hero came out of the blogocloset and was revealed (no homo).

Check out the article here!

Not even kidding though, this guy gives has the best head in the world, as evidenced in this saucy video. I get turned on every single time I see this goal. Not to mention the ravaging he gave Chelsea. (no homo). OK, for real though, I think he is the most technical player in the air, even today well past his prime. Not to mention the legendary status he has with Real Madrid and the Spanish national team.

Enuff gushing, check it out.

*edit: I think I'll get my own version of this list up in a bit...

April 9, 2010

Footballers are artistically retarded

In a new compilation, 40 Premier League players and managers have showcased their artistic chops in a collection to be auctioned off for charity. Players were asked to sign and draw a self-portrait. So well produced and artistically executed, well, it's comparable to the coloring book of a class of 5 year-olds. Allow me to deliver an artistic analysis of some of my favorites.

Example 1:

Really?! Deco, I know you're paid millions for the art your feet produce, but really? I can't tell if those are hockey sticks for legs, or if he only has elbows.

Didier Drogba was professional enough to title his piece, but is slightly unrealistic. Luka Modric on the other hand has a bit more of a naturalist's perspective.

Modric was certainly able to capture the proper proportions of his own body. Why yes Luka, when you jump in the air, that's quite what you look like.

If you wish to see the rest, jump over to the Guardian, where they have the rest of the hideous err, hilarious, I mean, artistic collection.

April 8, 2010

Officially more exciting than the Champions League

That's right. The UEFA Cup/Europa League/whatever the hell it is, is officially more exciting than that competition named something that Barcelona are going to win again.

Fulham pulled off a shocker by downing Wolfsburg, and they move on to face more of those "typical germans". Meanwhile, Valencia and Atletico was just boring, as David Villa and Aguero just sat there talking about how they should have moved to London.

Hamburg finished the last of Liege. They're currently experience something of a reverse-Liverpool right now, but they are still dangerous. Evidence -> see Petric.

And of course, the team that guaranteed Europe. Well, they're kind of on track. But not before KUYT.

So there's your match-ups for the final four. I'm picking a Fulham - Liverpool final, where Clint Dempsey styles on everybody and in the post-final celebrations freestyle raps using his ill-chosen MC name Deuce.

April 7, 2010

Backwards Pass: Hilarious Chris Kamara misses the red card

It gets funnier the more times you watch Chris Kamara's face. This is awesome.

April 5, 2010

Backwards Pass: Give the man a drink

This is truly hard to watch. Cheers to getting better by tomorrow mate.

April 4, 2010

Gotw: "Title game Joe?", "Nah, I am Joe Cole, and I am a cheeky bastard"

This did not get nearly enough attention that it deserved. In a game that could have potentially written the books for the title race, Joe Cole knows not the meanings of the words 'pressure', 'appropriate', and 'respect'. Yeah, Rooney was out, but you don't rub it in like this. At least open the scoring by at least pretending like it was hard.

This is the kind of move you put on your mates, and then piss on their graves.

April 2, 2010


Jump on the train over at Fake Sigi, and witness the fail of epic proportions going on within the 2x4 closet that is the MLS marketing department. Great article, with a very thorough look at how many ways you can screw up the interwebz.

If you'd like, you can always rinse out your eyes with gasoline after checking out MajorLeagueSoccerSoccer.com. Yes Don Garber, that is what you look like. The entire world is punching you in the face for so epically missing the point.