October 1, 2009

Who the fack is Harry Harris?

Whoever he is, this e-pundit has no idea what the hell he is talking about.

Let's do a play-by-play of this guy's invigoratingly fresh new thoughts about Chelsea. Oh this will be fun.

E-pundit Harris starts off,
"Job done, Chelsea bounced back from that shock at Wigan, won a potential banana skin tie in the Champions League and are top of the group looking to ease through as usual. So, normal service resumed. Or is it?"
Well shit, you got me with that opening hook. I am enthralled. Do you dare continue?

"And, to sum it all up, Chelsea were far from convincing and never look quite as formidable without Didier Drogba even though Nicolas Anelka scored the winner and has hit four in his last six starts - which makes a strong case for the Frenchman as a stand-in for Drogba."

Two paragraphs in, and I'm given the summary. Nice. But wait! The real insight is further on!

"As Chelsea head off to a match which might define their season so far, their encounter with Liverpool at the Bridge on Sunday, the big talking about is the form, or lack of it, of Frank Lampard. For a midfield man on the brink of surpassing Jimmy Greaves' goal tally at Chelsea, Lampard is stuck in a barren spell that he urgently needs to escape."
This is news to me that Lampard is off his game. I mean, we're not even a third into the season, Chelsea were perfect before Wigan, and suddenly everyone feels that Lampard is upset with the system. But he's not, really.

"Liverpool have their defensive problems, but Chelsea do rely too much on Drogba, even if Anelka can pitch in with a quantity of goals."
Well done Harry. Anelka is a great backup, but Liverpool's defensive issues outshadow the true support that Andriy Voronin and David N'gog provide. Maybe it's me, but I'd rather have Anelka as my second man substitute in a 5-4-1 any day. But behold yet! Harold Harris' tactical understanding of the game is surpassed by his insider's knowledge of the game's richest minds.

"For me, Roman Abramovich has been ready to bring in a new marquee player. Excited once more about the fortunes of his team, he has been ready to make a major splash in the transfer market, but didn't find it easy to spend a new world record on a player."
Funny how for the past silly season, there have only been reports of how Chelsea are cutting transfers and aiming for profitability. One thing on Roman's list, is not a marquee player. He's got other things to do than Galacticos 2.0.

"Abramovich would have splashed £60 million on Fernando Torres! But there is no way Liverpool would have sold him to Chelsea."
Ah, but now I see. And here I thought the contrary all along.

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