April 9, 2010

Footballers are artistically retarded

In a new compilation, 40 Premier League players and managers have showcased their artistic chops in a collection to be auctioned off for charity. Players were asked to sign and draw a self-portrait. So well produced and artistically executed, well, it's comparable to the coloring book of a class of 5 year-olds. Allow me to deliver an artistic analysis of some of my favorites.

Example 1:


Really?! Deco, I know you're paid millions for the art your feet produce, but really? I can't tell if those are hockey sticks for legs, or if he only has elbows.


Didier Drogba was professional enough to title his piece, but is slightly unrealistic. Luka Modric on the other hand has a bit more of a naturalist's perspective.


Modric was certainly able to capture the proper proportions of his own body. Why yes Luka, when you jump in the air, that's quite what you look like.

If you wish to see the rest, jump over to the Guardian, where they have the rest of the hideous err, hilarious, I mean, artistic collection.

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